But I Thought You Loved Your Brother...

Older Son: Five children is a lot to look after, isn't it mummy? I think five children would be too many.
me: Mm. What do you think would be the best number then?
Older Son (after a moment's consideration, and happily): Two!
Younger Son (loudly and abruptly): One.

Case Closed.

me: Did you just fart at me?
Younger Son (slowly picking up a toy): "I just did a fart," says Mister Badger. "It was not the giant, it was me."

How Rude.

Younger Son (chanting): My name is little daddy and I got a big fat bum!
Older Son (from the other room, matter of fact tone): Yeah, daddy has got a big fat bum. Definitely.