Pretty Sure He Would Have Laughed, Too.

Talking about great grandad, who recently passed away...
Older Son: There was grandma there, and great grandma, but no great grandad.
me: No, no more great grandad.
Younger Son: No, we've had enough of great grandad now.
me: (laughing because of the interesting wording)
Older Son (thoughtfully): That is quite rude.

Pipistrelle or Vampire?

me (serving dinner): How hungry are you, boys?
Younger Son (loudly): I'm as hungry as... a BAT!

Oh, Boys.

Younger Son (running outside with a piece of string): Look at my long piece of string!
Older Son (without looking up from his game): Mine is longer.

He's Quite Literal.

After 10 minutes or so of bickering...


Younger son: Don't push me!
Older son: Don't push ME!
me (fed up, under my breath): Don't push me 'cause I'm close to the edge...
Younger son (perching precariously on the sofa): No I'M close to the edge, stop pushing me!